What's up Nina? Thoughts from a Cystic Fibrosis Survivor & Lung Transplant Recipient

20Oct/11Off

By the Way

My brother is doing so much better its a freaking miracle. The doctors here were almost sure he wouldn't be able to come out of this. (we were all 101% more hopeful and than the doctors at the first horrible hospital we were in were it was more than exhausting to be shut down all day, especially for our family and friends awaiting to hear good results)

Although still on the ventilator. Josh has now been awake and able to move his legs a bit, squeeze with his hands and wiggle his toes once or twice. He was moved a few days ago from Bellingham to Seattle, to Harborview medical center. Since he has been there he has made some major progress. After confirming brain function and that there are no issues in that department they are working to transfer again, this time him to the University of Washington medical center so that he can be near the Cystic Fibrosis and lung doctors. He will be in good hands!

Prayers work! Keep em' comin'! I want to send out a HUGE THANK YOU to all of our family, friends, and everyone else who thought of us. Thank you all for the thoughs, prayers, food, coming out to the hospital to sit with us and be there for support and everyone for just supporting Josh and my family it has been unbelievable! I did not forget those texts that have been flowing into my phone sharing hope and support either, THANK YOU ALL AS WELL!

Thanks again and I will update soon!

 

<3

13Oct/11Off

My Brother Needs Some Prayers

Help me out here! My brother and family need every good thought and prayer from everyone who reads this. There is still a good chance he will wake up.

I know not all of you know that I have a brother who has also Cystic Fibrosis. He's a good guy, caring, and always loving music and guy stuff (knives, motorcycles

& things). January 5th he will be 21 years old! He has been in that "rough patch" of CF for some time now and has started needed oxygen to help him breathe. As well as getting closer to trying to get on the lung transplant list.

He recently went into the hospital for a clean-out (normal I.V. antibiotic treatment) and it took a turn for the worse. He aspirated and went into cardiac arrest leaving him on life support until something happens otherwise.

Although there was hope given to the crowd of family and friends gathered in the ICU last night, his situation is still on the rough side. Besides waiting for more testing, and results, we are asking for any prayers, good thoughts, and love you can send his way, and also our way, his family, and friends while we wait for news.

Thanks and lots of love.

To my bro: hang in there we are all pulling for ya, theres a world of people out there who love you more than you know. <3

For those of you who didn't get the chance to meet my brother personally I grabbed a few quick pics I could find so you'll know who the prayers are for :)

23Apr/11Off

My Transplant Story: Part 7 – Coming home & Now

I had to stay in Seattle only a few weeks after that ordeal. Since I was almost 2 months post transplant and I only live 2 hours from the hospital the doctor said I could return home! YIPEEE!! We were so excited, and so was our families little chihuahua Fuego, since he was my buddy all this time while I sat at home sick on the couch.

As soon as I got home I was up and running, literally. I started walking on the treadmill everyday right when I came home, rode my spin bike other days, and after a month or so I started a running plan. Soon after that I started hiking, biking, lifting weights, and of course just being a normal person. I could now shop, as in walk around with people who shop like their life depends on it, keep up with them and not get tired!! I was able to complete a 4 mile race as well as a 2 mile one, I was also able to ride my bike 26 miles and then a 13 ride that was mostly hills. I have also had the privilege of getting a puppy, as I had wanted to so badly before. I have been taking my puppy, Axel, to dog training, and working on his soon to be running buddy skills. All in all, I have never felt better, and I am stronger than I have ever been in my life.

So far I have had to be on an oral antibiotics as a maintenance a few times. I have had IV once due to some bacteria in the new lungs, but it seems to have cleared it up. I have had a few issues that led me to need quite a few bronchoscopys but better safe than sorry I say! The amount of medications I am now taking is a lot but I have gotten used to it and it is nothing compared to the rigorous treatments faced by the normal Cystic Fibrosis patient as I had done all my life. More recently rejection was found through a bronchoscopy where they had taken biopsies. I am being treated for that now and will soon be re-checked, praying that it all went away!

Now whenever I do something, such as run or ride my bike, I just think… this is so amazing. But then I started thinking. EVERYTHING is so amazing, because I wouldn't even be here right now if it wasn't for my amazing doctors and surgeons, nurses and family and friends, and of course my donor and their family. If you think running a race is amazing, I cant forget that walking to the bathroom by myself without oxygen is amazing, considering what I could do before, this is way beyond amazing, they don't even make a word for it.

WAKING UP IS AMAZING.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story! If you missed any of the previous part of the story they can be found in these links:

My Transplant Story: Part 1 – Listing.

My Transplant Story: Part 2 – The Call.

My Transplant Story: Part 3 – Waking up in ICU.

My Transplant Story: Part 4 – More ICU & Ventilator Troubles.

My Transplant Story: Part 5 – Released from ICU.

My Transplant Story: Part 6 – Issues.

22Apr/11Off

My Transplant Story: Part 6 – Issues

A few days later I had another doctor appointment and by this time I couldn't make it to the appointment (stomach acting up very badly) so we went straight to the E.R. Once we got in the emergency room they found out that my heart rate was over 220. They double checked it and sure enough… all the nurses and doctors in the E.R. came and game me an IV, then and IV medication to help calm and slow my heart. We had previously gone in for the stomach aches and vomiting but they seemed to be more worried about this (as it probably would have been cardiac arrest if I had been older).

To say the least they chose to keep me, I was admitted and then seen in the morning for my stomach problems. I think they decided the high heart rate was due to pain in my stomach. When they saw the CT scan of my abdomen they wanted to take me into surgery right away, only 3 weeks after my transplant. So my mom and I look at each other all sad, and then I go off back into pre-op. I did not have to wait long as I already had IV's and stuff and they wanted to get in there as soon as possible because my intestines were so backed up they could have burst. So they did the surgery, placed an epidural and I was back in ICU.

This time I woke up off the vent, HALLELUJAH, but feeling HORRIBLE. The pain and discomforts was like 1,000 times worse than the lung transplant. I feel for anyone with abdomen problems as it is ROUGH! I was not allowed to go home until I had a few regual bowel movements which took days, so I ended up being in the hospital for another week. Due to the placement of the epidural I had no feeling in my legs at all. Meaning I could not walk or more AT ALL. Not only could I not walk that week but when I got the feeling back in my legs I could not walk very well due to the abdominal pain I had.

Since it was really important that I walk and stay active for my new lungs I had a hard time for while. And for my mom and I, it was back to stay in seattle. Only this time a wonderful family allowed us to live in the apartment underneath their home! So I was out of the hospital once again, I could breathe, but I was staying on the couch a lot once again, it felt just like before, except worse, I felt horrible for not using these lungs. I knew I probably just needed time to heal but I still felt guiltily. Right out of the hospital the first time I was walking miles and hills. Now I was barely getting around the house, and boy had I lost leg muscle!

Read part 7 of the story tomorrow!!

If you missed the previous stories, you can find them using these links!
My Transplant Story: Part 1 – Listing.

My Transplant Story: Part 2 – The Call.

My Transplant Story: Part 3 – Waking up in ICU.

My Transplant Story: Part 4 – More ICU & Ventilator Troubles.

My Transplant Story: Part 5 – Released from ICU.

21Apr/11Off

My Transplant Story: Part 5 – Released from ICU

I was then released from ICU, only a day after the vent was removed, and sent to the regular floor, where I was free of a lot of cords and IV's and I got to take my first shower!!! Which was awesome, you'd never know how much you miss water and showering when you have not gotten the chance for over 3 weeks. I also never want to see a baby wipe again! The other amazing thing (that I had not been able to do for over 6 months) was that I was able to shower by myself with ease!! Completely amazing.

Mom and I in my new regular hospital room.

After a day or so on the floor I was completely off all my IV's, eating good, walking, and people had been visiting. Besides how good I was doing I had very bad cabin fever and wanted to be home, the only bad thing about that was, I had to stay in Seattle for a while. For 3-6 months or whenever the doctors said I could return home.

In my regular room, only a few days off the vent and I finally got to wear REAL PAJAMAS!

I was only in the hospital a month (3 weeks ICU, 1 week regular floor) which after pretty much just getting out of the ICU we thought was pretty soon, but I was doing awesome and it was safer to be out of the hospital anyways. Going back to the thing I said about being sliced open and having one of your main organs swapped out, you would think that a month in the hospital isn't long at all! So my mom and I got a condo-like hotel in Seattle for the week, since it was my birthday that week, and a couple groups of our friends came down to celebrate it with us. Talk about the BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER. The gift of life!!! Really, tell me what can top that! My most amazing birthday celebration ever celebrating not only my birthday but my second chance at life which my donor and their family had given me so generously.

The only thing bad about my birthday is I had been getting sick over the past few days. Stomach issues, nausea, and vomiting. My mom and I were super sad since I had walked over a mile from the hotel just a day after we had checked in. As my tummy gpt worse I wasn't getting around as well and wasn't keeping food down. It was sort of off and on and we saw the doctor the next day and they gave me some anti-nausea stuff and said to try that as we thought I was just having trouble with all the new medications.

Read part 6 of the story tomorrow!!

If you missed the previous stories, you can find them using these links!
My Transplant Story: Part 1 – Listing.

My Transplant Story: Part 2 – The Call.

My Transplant Story: Part 3 – Waking up in ICU.

My Transplant Story: Part 4 – More ICU & Ventilator Troubles.

20Apr/11Off

My Transplant Story: Part 4 – More ICU & Ventilator Troubles

It was super awesome that a bunch of my friends and family came to visit but each time was a bummer because I couldn't talk and I was pretty cranky most the time. I was pretty proud that a couple of friends flew a long ways to see me in the hospital. While others drove a long way, each person who came to visit meant a lot to me, even the ones I have no recollection of seeing (but they were there for my momma too!).

(We made a fake race bib because my mom had just ran a race and had the bib in her bag and we decided that going through the surgery was like running a race!)

While I was on the ventilator I used my computer a little bit, painted a horse sculpture thing, and annoyed my mom a lot. I tried really hard to distract myself but it was pretty difficult. It's weird how bad I wanted to be off the vent yet most of the times I was able to try to reduce support from the machine I would panic and have to let the machine breathe for me for the rest of the day. I realized that a lot of me getting off of the ventilator was my lungs and not me, as the whole time I sat there I thought it was my fault and that I was doing something wrong, even though they assured me I wasn't, I just wanted anything to speed up the process.

In the chair on the ventilator! (much harder to do that it looks)

After a few rough times trying to reduce the breathing support I began to worry about my new lungs and how it would be to breath with them. A few times I did really well, and after I started asking to stay on the amount of support I left off on overnight, I started progressing more rapidly. As opposed to going onto full breathing support overnight so my body could rest while I slept, I stayed on the reduced support that I had practiced on that day. After a few days of less and less breathing support at night I had gotten to the point where I would soon be able to be off the ventilator. Which I was both extremely nervous and excited for at the same time.

I had finally made it to the limited support they wanted me to be at and me breathing more on my own with the ventilator in. After that it was just waiting, day after day, for them to say the vent could be taken out. I knew they had to be careful, because its dangerous if it had to be put back in where the lungs were sown in. BUT I WANTED IT OUT!!! Then one day, the respiratory therapist came in, and yanked that tube out, and I don't think I have ever been happier in my entire life! My mom said my face looked just like it did when I jumped out of the plane skydiving, a HUGE smile.

Me, first day without the ventilator!! (fake tattoos on my hand that my friend brought haha)

So after I got that out, the next goal was FOOD! But since I had the vent in for so long I had to wait a few days to make sure I didn't get food into my new lungs. When the lady came to check my swallowing they decided NOT to let me eat until like the next day in small amounts. I was mad but waited and then was very excited for eating since I had not eaten for over 3 weeks and did not get much real nutrition because my feeding tubes had been acting up the whole time I was on the ventilator.

Read part 5 of the story tomorrow!!

If you missed the previous stories, you can find them using these links!
My Transplant Story: Part 1 – Listing.

My Transplant Story: Part 2 – The Call.

My Transplant Story: Part 3 – Waking up in ICU.

19Apr/11Off

My Transplant Story: Part 3 – Waking up in ICU

I went in to surgery with the plan to ventilate one lung and transplant the other, ventilate the other lung and then transplant the second, but since my lung function (17% a month or more before) was not strong enough I had to be placed on a heart lung machine. In doing this they were able to, and they took BOTH LUNGS OUT, yes, I was laying on a table with NO LUNGS. Awaiting the surgeon to put the new lungs in, that to me, is just CRAZY… actually, crazy doesn't even begin to explain that.

I also got to meet some awesome cystic fibrosis and post transplant people while I was in the hospital!

Chillin on the vent pretty much...

Now waking up in the ICU was a whole other story. I was still vented when I woke up. Which is sometimes common but they said you would get off the ventilator in usually a few hours to a couple of days. This was not the case for me. I was handling things somewhat well so the started taking me off the sedation pretty quick. A couple times I sort of panicked on the ventilator. But after a few days I was going better. Every once in a while I would have a hard time or hard day, but I have to say, NOTHING about being awake on the ventilator is fun. Since I had been awake on the ventilator for 3 weeks I was going back an forth with my ability to handle the huge scratchy tube down my throat and the machine breathing for me. Sometimes I would gag and vomit nonstop. Once I started having trouble it was almost impossible to get my bearings back.

One of the reasons I was on the ventilator for so long was due to a perfusion injury that the new lungs suffered before or during the surgery. The other reason was because I had to start breathing on my own before it could be removed, so they would slowly change the percentage the machine was breathing for me and sometimes I had setbacks where I almost had to start over. At this point if it wasn't for my mom being at my side everyday coaching me to breathe I might still be on that thing!!

Walking… all those white containers hanging on the walker were hooked to TUBES coming out of ME!!! (by the way we counted 8 tubes, that octopus ain't got nothing on me!)

The reason I was awake the most of the time (as they would normally sedate you) was mostly because they had been trying to keep Ventilated ICU patients awake and walking so that they would not have problems from being sedated, bedridden, and that kind of thing. So yeah, I was up and walking, which I am thankful for everyday they made me do it! Because it made all the difference in my recovery. Even though it was HARD, and I really did not want to walk with all those tubes hanging out (we counted 8, 4 chest tubes, neck IV, ventilator, catheter, Port IV accessed, feeding tubes, among other things), I did it, and I believe it is the only reason I am able to run as much as I have 6 months post transplant.

Above: Walking in the ICU on the ventilator.

Initially lung transplant patients would wake up already off of the vent, if not a day or two at the most, and probably sedated, besides this ICU was trying to keep people awake, they sedate you at first to see how you handle the vent. So this is not what I was expecting, waking up to 3 weeks on a vent was a lot to sit through, especially with limited communication ability AND NO FOOD OR DRINKS. All I have to say is, extremely frustrating!!! I was NOT PREPARED for this, I am not sure what could have been done to prepare me, but it was a shock to say the least.

Fresh out of surgery with a fresh set of lungs!

Read part 4 of the story tomorrow!!

If you missed the previous stories, you can find them using these links!
My Transplant Story: Part 1 – Listing.

My Transplant Story: Part 2 – The Call.

18Apr/11Off

My Transplant Story: Part 2 – The Call

The day I was re-listed (for the 3rd time) I didn't really think too much of it, as I had been listed multiple times before and nothing happened, while I sat on the list for months at a time. Never having any dry runs or anything I really thought it was going be a 6 month-1 year wait. Everyone was pretty excited I was at least on the list because I had gotten so sick but we didn't even get a chance to tell everybody when my dad came home that night to tell us we already had received the call.

We were pretty much in shock, as we were expecting that 6 month wait. We had not even had our go bags prepared yet! So my dad and I left for the 2 hour drive while my mom stayed behind to pack in case we ended up staying down there. (My dad and I just wanted to be there early as well, just in case) There was not one thought in my mind I would be having a transplant that day. I thought dry run, dry run, etc. And that's pretty much my thoughts, besides HOLY SHIT I might be having a lung transplant today. Although I was ready for transplant at this time, like entirely ready, and I needed it, I still didn't believe it becoming real. A surgery like that is really beyond comprehension.

Well that morning (after I slept in the ICU room overnight, not sure how I even slept to tell you the truth) some friends and family came and it was a little nervous feeling all around. Or at least I was nervous enough to poop my pants. Lol. They doctors kept pushing back the time they were suppose to take me into pre-op, we were just about to start a game, and then randomly they just showed up saying they were ready! We had waited for so long for this and I was finally being wheeled into pre-op.

Oooooh dear!

The thought of being completely sliced open in what you could be a few hours and having one of your most vital organs just swapped out for someone else's is almost impossible to comprehend. That happens with cars, computers, but with people?! Secondly my thoughts were also with the family at the bedside of their loved one while choosing to donate their organs to possibly ME as they take them off of life support and loose them on earth forever, an extreme mix of emotions. But really so many it almost becomes numb, since there is also that one thought…I really might not wake up, and if I do, I will have the whole world in front of me like never ever before. I will have new lungs.

So there I go, rolling back for new lungs. I don't even think I had feelings left at this point because it was so incredibly overwhelming siting where what was potentially minutes away from a surgery I had been waiting for nearly 6 years, and never really knowing if I would make it there. I knew for sure at this point I had nothing to loose, I had made it to my lungs end, and if I did not wake up, I fought hard and lived it up, so all I had now, was prayers for the donor and family, and the excitement of potentially waking up with the breath of life I had never had the chance to breathe.

Well there I was, in pre-op getting all ready for surgery, after butchering my wrist for an arterial iv and some other iv's they hooked me all up and I rolled away from my momma and dad. I think at that point I was a more scared for them, in case anything were to happen to me in surgery. But there was also the chance I wake up without lungs, the same as when I went in, if the surgeon decided that new ones were not suitable to transplant at the last minute.

All I have to say is, that was no dry run! I was rolled into the fancy operating room with a million machines and even a million more buttons, like something from TV. Some nurses were comforting me and they put a jelly pillow behind my head. And that's the last thing I remember….

Read part 3 of the story tomorrow!!

If you missed the previous stories, you can find them using this link!
My Transplant Story: Part 1 – Listing.

17Apr/11Off

My Transplant Story: Part 1 – Listing

I was recently thinking about the first time I was listed for transplant all the way through my transplant and up until now. Trying to remember everything I could and even some little details. I was 16 when I was first sent over to the other hospital to be seen by the transplant team. I had been sick for a long time, to the point a lot was taken away from me, snowboarding, running, walking even. But looking back at it now, that first time, even though I thought I was as sick as I could get, I wasn't as sick nor as ready for transplant as I was the second and final time I was listed.

The first time I was sent over the University of Washington medical center was mainly due to the fact that the bacteria that was in my lungs was very antibiotic resistant and I was on non-stop antibiotics for years pretty much. I was just on a bunch of intense antibiotics (usually on 4 or 5 together) all the time and most of the time it was IV, or a mix or IV and oral.

Then I had to do the transplant evaluation. I had actually done this work-up twice, between my two different list activations, some of the test included Bone Density scans, CT scans, Heart Catheterization, a million blood labs, walk tests, Pulmonary Function Tests, Arterial Blood Gasses, Electrocardiogram, Chest X-Ray, Echocardiogram, among other things.

Well, during this whole time I was questioning and even doubting my need for transplant, maybe because I wasn't ready, or maybe it was just considering I didn't make it through surgery or the possibility the lungs rejected quickly. Which caused me to I wonder.. should I be waiting longer? Should I wait and get sicker incase the lungs don't hold up or something goes wrong. Should I make these ones that are actually mine last until their last breath? And thoughts like that went through my head daily. I know that the transplant team knew what they were doing, I trusted them, and they to were weighing those odds, but I still thought about it myself. Sometimes I thought they made me wait too long, but sitting here today, I think the timing could not have been more perfect.

One of my longer hospitalizations, as you probably assumed :) by my weirdness.

I was listed on 3 different occasions, and deactivated, because of an increase in lung function most of the time, which was awesome, because most the time I had been continuing to exercise to my best ability. One time I even went through a pulmonary rehabilitation program to try and safely exercise while improve my lung function. I would recommend this type of program for anyone struggling to stay in an exercise routine mainly with an illness or injury so that there is someone to guide you while you are exercising safely depending on your abilities.

Although my lung functions were in the high to low 30's during this time, I quickly adapted my life to the level of sickness I was experiencing (which changed often), and had been keeping up with life for the most part, while still having a pretty good time and never too miserable. Sometimes this was not the case, sometimes I was hospitalized for months due to my condition, and those were the times I did not doubt my future (or current) need for transplant was drawing near.

As years and months went by I required more and more oxygen. Soon I was completely oxygen dependent, and I was needing up to 5 liters 24/7. My daily tasks of eating (which I rarely did much of as I had a feeding tube to help keep weight on while I was fighting all this infection), showering, treatments and medications were all I could do. Other than that my schedule was pretty much bed - couch - bed and a I only left the house on occasion. Towards the end, I could not even shower without assistance as I had to use a stool, and handheld sprayer to shower.

There were some days when I would spend entire days to weeks coughing up loads of phlem, it would be non-stop and never ending, my body would just be so sore and tired from all the coughing it was wearing me out more than fighting the bacteria. Besides the bad and the ugly of coughing, I always had killer abs! Lol.

Read part 2 of the story tomorrow!!

16Apr/11Off

Long Story

Lol, I thought that would be a good title for what is to come.

Starting tomorrow I am going to post all I can remember about my thoughts of transplant throughout the process. I have tried to include everything in order from before the listing, the call, waiting in pre-op, waking up in ICU, the ventilator, to being released from the hospital, and even the other problems I faced. It turned out to be so long I am going to post it over the week, part of the story each day. I tried to include details that others waiting for a transplant might find helpful as well. Hope you like it! (I will also post it up as a page once I have posted them all so its easy to find if need be)

And PLEASE comment with questions or the like, as I will try to answer them to my best ability. I would love to be able to help out in any way that I could especially for people waiting or family/friends of people waiting or thinking about getting a transplant. If you would rather email me you can do so by clicking here.

13Oct/10Off

Free at Last!!

As many of you know I received the gift of a a new life, a second chance, and that is all because of the selfless act of my donor choosing to be an organ donor. On September 16th 2010 I received new lungs. Lungs that are not infected with Cystic Fibrosis. Although I still have a routing of medical care to closely follow, and CF still remains in my pancreas and sinuses, it is nothing compared to the 22 years of fighting Cystic Fibrosis which my wonderful Doctors at Children's Hospital in Seattle kept me alive through.

Yesterday I was released from the hospital only 1 week after getting off of the ventilator which I was wide awake on for almost 3 weeks. I ended up walking and getting out of bed while on the ventilator which allowed me to keep some strength and not need physical, occupational therapy or rehabilitation for any longer than my hospital stay.

So now I am free! With only twice daily oral medications, blood glucose monitoring, blood pressure, lung function, weight, temperature, and heart rate monitoring. It may sound like a lot but is PROVEN MUCH LESS THAN I AM USED TO. I don't even know what to do with myself.

This morning my mom and I were amazed that the whole routine only took about 10 minutes. Compare that to 2 hours of inhaled medications twice a day, an hour of a therapy vest and/or flutter to loosen secretions, 3 times a day Iv antibiotics and sometimes 3 times a day inhaled antibiotics, and just about the same amount of oral medications that I have now. Thats not including all of the cleaning of the nebulizers and preparation of the Iv's, changing needles, flushing my port, blood draws for IV levels and everything else I have been doing my entire life.

Weather I have 8 hours or 30 minutes of treatments or monitoring in a day NOTHING COMPARES to the fact that I now have the energy to do things and CAN BREATHE! In short, I will be livin it up, as I always have, with the gift of breath and a whole lot more free time!!

2Oct/10Off

Cranky Nina

Today I am cranky Nina! This is because I am still on the vent and its been 15 days. So yea... a little frustrating. Just have to keep thinking about next snowboarding season I'll make it up for, or the next run I will get to do with my mom that I never got to do before.

I have had multiple people, hospital workers etc. telling me I have one of the best self controls of anyone they have ever seen on a vent and how most people are only ever awake for 30min at most. Not 15 days...

Anyways. Hoping to get it out soon so I can get back to work (playing)!